Change Your Calendar In A Good Mood!

And all that Gregorian cheer!

...with a cold

I've had 2 flus and this makes 6 colds this year, as well as the surgeries rehabs and on and on.
I'm ready for some good fortune now.

Limited time offer

But what ain't?

A Bob Dylan Christmas

I can't understand a word anyone is saying today.

How much easier would it be to just cop to our shit?

I'm eating too much while stuck on the couch. See how easy it was?
Okay Congress, go ahead, admit you are only interested in the good of the nation and its citizens only insofar as you are each one of it citizens.
Corporate mangement, admit that what you sell is not what you deliver.
Adults, admit that you really don't know any more than most 15 year old children nor are you any more mature, no matter how many intervening years you've had.
Open source authors, admit your products only work for those who wish to put in as much effort using the tool as you did developing it, usually more.
Department of Defense, admit you have no idea what it would take to win in Afghanistan, or what the victory conditions would be even.
Wine critics, admit you have no more legitimate opinions than anyone else with an average palate.
Top Chef judges for the finale this season, admit that Bryan should have won and you are suffering from the same jaded palate problem that wine critics of the '80s did. Flavors have to be big and bold? Subtlety can't win the day? I can't wait for the pendulm to swing back so I can replay your comments for you in ten years.
Cooks, admit that scallops and salmon do not belong on every menu. And admit you're serving salad from the yuppie chow bag nine times out of ten.
AT&T admit you're coasting on the iPhone's success and don't give a hoot about your customers or your employees.

You get the idea.

I secretly love fruitcake

Not so secret now I suppose.
If you're one of those people who don't like fruitcake then put an email address in the comments and I'll send you a shipping address for where to send your fruitcake.

Low proboability events

They happen with an alarming frequency.

Mansquito is on!

I'll never watch it, but I love the fact that it exists.

Where is the love?

You would think someone at one of the three local parties I couldn't go to would sneak out nad bring me some wassail and fruitcake.
I don't know what wassail is, but I bet it's good.

What do you do about WiFi polluters?

Somebody in my neighborhood is running a very dirty RF soure. ot only does it kill my WiFi occasionally, it also disrupts the connectin between a bluetooth keyboard and its computer, which are about 4 feet apart. Wow. That is some RF source.

Reply To All: Thanks!

Need a New Year's Resolution you can actually keep?
How about refraining from hitting "Reply To All" for everything you send. Try to consider who really needs to see your message and reply only to them. Let the eighty other people on the To: and CC: list live with a slightly less useless inbox.
We'd appreciate it.

Aurumania

Aurumania - noun - the hysterical belief that gold will be of some value to you after the collapse of civilization and agriculture

Typos are never seen until after posting

What's the deal with that? No matter how many times I preview a post, or even spell check, I still don't catch all the errors until I publish the post and see it in the blog.
Heck, maybe not even then.

Ice cream flavors you never see

9 volt battery
Nyquil
frozen flagpole
spitball
unexpected ocean wave

You may think these are not for you but I bet there's a market for them.
Maybe Japan?

Watching movies from the couch

I suppose I am not a movie person. You think this would be a golden opportunity to watch them, but I have a limit of about one movie every three days.
I don't mind reading an unlimited number of sf, pulp and comic books though.

Lexocrave

Lexocrave noun the desire for the creation of a word to name some phenomenon

Is there a word for this already?

Microsoft Exchange Makes My Life Worse With Every Interaction

WTF is wrong with corporate America that they perpetuate the existence of Microsoft Exchange?
I know, they are married ot the calendar. But I've used the calendar, and it just so happens that virtually no manager I've worked with knows how to use the calendar features correctly. The next time your manager sends you a meeting notice senda reply to the meeting notice. There's easily a 90% chance they won't have read your reply, or even know that there was a reply to read.
This is another indication that it's over for American business. Our resources and talent are controlled by people who need to be bailed out by the federal government to the tune of more than a trillion dollars while these self-same individuals complain about "government handouts" to every one else.
Citi has been bailed out no less than 4 times by the federal government. How does anyone in management at Citi, up to and including the members of its board, still have a job? They should be completely unemployable based solely upon their results. But instead we heap reward upon reward on them.
If you really believe it was a good idea to bail out the banks, GM. et al, in order to save the dollar from being devalued then you have no right to call yourself a capitalist. And you are no doubt part of the problem of which the widespread use of Microsoft Exchange is only a symptom. But for me, a symptom that causes a great deal of pain on a daily basis.

Computer programming is infested with trivia

I would like to know if there is any occupation more concerned with transient trivia as that of programming computers.

I was certain I posted last night.

But I guess not?
No, I'm certain I did. I wonder what happened to it.

Today I Blacked Out

Just for a few hours. I had the front door open and it was daylight, maybe 2PM? Then I blinked and it was dark, about 5PM? And the front door was still open. I wonder what happned in the intervening time? The world may never know.
It's good to have a little mysery in life every once in a while.

XBox at full volume is too loud

I have an odd situation where I have to connect to the XBox directly to the speakers, which means there's no volume control. No, XBox itself does not have a master volume control in its audio panel. So I played Borderlands at full volume and it is bloody loud. I have ear plugs for when I go to the range, maybe I should use them?

What does the man on the couch want?

Chinese food. It's the best food for convalescing. I think that's obvious.

You can watch cable news from the couch!

Yes! Let's check it out.
CNN, hmmm Wolf Blitzer. His Jeopardy performance looks to ahve been no fluke.
How about Neil Cavuto? Maybe not.
Keith Olbermann? Ouch.
Glen Beck? Oh my.

I do not recommend you watch cable news if you're already somewhat depressed. Or have any brain activity whatsoever.

Porcupine Sex Month

So called because for the next 30 days or so I will not be able to find any comfortable position.

(Up)holstered

Like a fully loaded shiny new service revolver carried by a pacifist constable, I won't be seeing action any time soon.
But it turns out there's a lot to do when you're immobile. And I'll lt you know what, as soon as I figure it out.